January 2011
I just couldn’t keep the UrbanDictionary definition of my name up…I felt too narcissistic.
“Relish (v): to take pleasure in; like; enjoy”
– www.dictionary.com
“Love is individual…I don’t think it can be defined. We all just try...”
– Cheryl Marez (myself)
“All love shifts and changes. I don’t know if you can be wholeheartedly in...”
– Julie Andrews
“A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love.”
– Stendhal (Henri Beyle)
These Days Are New
I think today is the first day I realized just how much he cares…and how much I care. All it took was letting go…
I cried in front of him today, and I (reluctantly) let him comfort me, despite the fact that my reasons for distress were so idiotic (to me). He, however, found validity in my anxiety, and planted an idea in my mind that can only grow stronger over time:
I’m not as...
Relationship Factor of Importance: #2
I need a guy I can communicate with.
I don’t need to talk to him every second of every day (I’d prefer not to talk quite that often); it’s the knowledge that he is capable of listening to me and responding in important scenarios that is necessary. As long as I don’t feel that it’s impossible for me to tell him things, it’s all good.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt (via altoids)
Relationship Factor of Importance: #1
I want to bring my dude with me to chill with a group of friends, and I want him to genuinely enjoy it.
I don’t mean on girly day trips or anything; I’d spare him that torture. By this I just mean that I should be able to bring him on hang out trips with a mixed group, guys and chicks, and have fun. I don’t want to bring him somewhere that he won’t enjoy being to be...
Epiphany.
I’m blaming everything for my insecurities and problems handling life EXCEPT for myself.
Jeez. I just need to control myself if I want to control my life.
Pre-Transition
I don’t want anyone. I don’t want sex. I don’t want affection.
I want to be left alone. My life hasn’t been helped by any relationship I’ve had, and it’s about time to get away from the rut I’ve been stuck in. Being in the same place all the time is killing me…
My room needs to stay clean, my grades need to stay up, the plans for business classes...
“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it...”
– Arthur Somers Roche
“Fear less, hope more; eat less, chew more; whine less, breathe more; talk less,...”
– Swedish proverb
“Poignant (adj): sharply distressing or painful to the feelings”
– www.dictionary.com
Sometimes what you have to do is the thing that will hurt…usually, it’s not easy. You don’t want to do it. But you know it’s right; when you think about it, it lifts a weight off of your chest. It doesn’t mean you weren’t happy; it means it’s time to change. It doesn’t mean it wasn’t what you wanted; it means it’s not what you want...
“Do what you fear most and you control fear.”
– Tom Hopkins
“Almost (adv): little short of being; very nearly”
– www.dictionary.com
Exorcism and Roasted Salted Almonds
I have nothing to say. I guess I mostly wanted to write this because I have 89 posts and I want an even 90 because it would look cooler to me.
I act differently around all of my friends; I have different faces for each group, but with enough similarity that no one can tell I’m just trying to fit in. I just look like I’m being myself.
I’m afraid to let my boyfriend in farther...
I got together with you because I want you. I don’t want to stay because I NEED you.
“Beauty (n): the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure...”
– www.dictionary.com
rosaleelorraine asked: I don't have one either right now haha.
Cheryl's Self-Guide to Handling Boyfriend: Dealing...
Step One: Try to rationalize. He’s probably busy or sleeping or something; besides, no guy is completely consistent.
Step Two: Distance myself from the subject (mentally). He doesn’t matter, I could be fine without him, I won’t let any emotions flow in his direction at all; virtually, I don’t care.
Step Three: Don’t initiate contact for a while, make him come to...
Babble.
It’s so much easier to procrastinate, to waste time, then to actually do something productive. My being on here right now, blogging as I am, is proof of that. Nothing is being said that has a point. There certainly are things I could bitch and moan about, but I’m not going to. Hell, I could be crying over something right now, overthinking and panicking and reading into BS even more,...
To Those From Before.
I hope you deleted the pictures of me.
I hope you deleted my phone number.
I hope you got rid of everything I ever gave/wrote you.
You were no good for me.
I was more than you deserved, even if I didn’t know it at the time.
It was your fault,
and it was your loss.
If I see you again,
I’ll be polite; I’ll play nice.
But you’ll never get close enough to find your way...
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive that is youer...”
– Dr. Seuss
“I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out...”
– Marilyn Monroe